Genre: Tragedy, Romance
Summary: Hyukjae knew he shouldn’t get too attached to Donghae. But it was literally impossible to ignore his little cute lip biting (which sometimes turned extremely sexy at times) and his cute little remarks that really did sound like a five year old. And besides, it was too late to turn around as if he never met him before. It was too late to change that fact that he already loved him. He was already too attached.
Hyukjae sat cross legged in front of the fireplace, shivering from the cold. He had been out in the snow all day, and now he was getting a big lecture from his father about it.
“-and no more going out in the snow for you young man. Do you understand?”
“I don’t want to see you drenched from head to toe like this ever again, do you understand?” “
Of course, his father’s words were going through one ear and just leaving the other and Hyukjae had absolutely no idea what he was saying. Being grown up with a strict father like his, Hyukjae just naturally learnt to block out voices.
“Hyukjae are you listening?”
“What did I just say?”
“That I shouldn’t go outside anymore and that I can’t come back later than six and that-”
“That’s right. You’re only sixteen. When I was sixteen…”
Oh there he goes, ranting about his childhood again... Hyukjae thought. He had more important things to think about than listen to his father’s off-topic-stories.
I wonder how cold it was outside today.
When is the snow going to melt?
How hot does it have to be for snow to melt anyway?
I wonder if father notices the balding spot on his head. Should I point it out?
Nah, he’ll just kill me.
“-anyways, where were we Hyukjae? Oh yes. If I hear any more complains from the maid that you weren’t doing your school work, you are in big trouble.”
“Good. And also-”
Hyukjae sighed and racked his brain to go back to his thoughts.
But I don’t see why I should do my school work. I already understand everything.
I want a new guitar.
“Hyukjae, if the maid wants you to help, you better help her. I don’t want to hear another one of her stories where you ransacked the house and almost broke all the furniture. Otherwise-”
Ransacked? Excuse me, I just slid down the banisters, I don’t call that ‘ransacked the house and almost broke all the furniture.’
When does school start?
“That’s all Hyukjae. Now go to sleep. It’s ten already.”
Hyukjae nodded and started his way up the red velvet stairs to his room.
Should I tell father that I want a new guitar? Hyukjae thought as he walked in his bedroom and closed the glass door behind him.
No probably not. He would never let me.
Hyukjae ran his fingers through his blonde hair and sighed. He walked through his magnificent room which had a large table with two computers, a plush twirl-y chair, his queen sized bed with 1000-thread-count-bed and custom made silk curtains. His walk in closet was filled with designer clothing, mostly custom made. He had more shoes than any other girl in the country (and that’s saying a lot), and his walls were filled with awards and certificates for piano, fencing, archery, guitar and violin that he had won as a child.
His bathroom was even more gorgeous. He had a fluffy feet drying mat and water that filled his bathtub with warm aroma filled, healthy water, if that even made any sense. The shower part was coated with ruby, and it would never rot.
Did we mention that all the door knobs of the house were made of crystal?
Hyukjae stepped in and took off his clothes. He placed them on the floor and clapped his hands, making the water come out and fill his bathtub. Checking the temperature, he slid in, breathing in the scented air. He closed his eyes, relaxing as the water refreshed him and he thought about his parents and his life.
His father’s name was Lee Donghyun, and he was a famous doctor. He worked as a surgeon, so he was hardly at home but when he was, he was the world’s strictest person. He ordered Hyukjae around like Hyukjae didn’t know anything, and probably thought that too. When Hyukjae had won first at his first piano concert, his father hadn’t said anything. When Hyukjae won first in fencing, still his father hadn’t said anything. But when Hyukjae got second in his first archery contest, his father had blown up, telling Hyukjae that he could do better, that second was nothing. There was no point unless you were first.
And Hyukjae hated how his father was like that.
Honestly, who cared who was first or second? Why wasn’t his father happy when Hyukjae had tried his best?
Hyukjae sighed, wondering why his beautiful mother had decided to marry such a man.
His mother’s name was Lee Saeyoon, and she had died when Hyukjae was five. She had been a lawyer and from what the maids said, she was completely different from her husband. Hyukjae vaguely remembered her soft touch as she cradled him in her arms, whispering his name, telling him how wonderful he was. He was a ‘bundle of joy’ as his mother put it. Hyukjae had a picture of her in his wallet, and she looked beautiful in it, her brown hair blowing in the wind, her smile like sunlight. There was no other word for her. She was beautiful. She was amazing. And she was obviously the light of their lives.
Why did she have to die?
Hyukjae realized that his fingers were all shrived so he decided to pull the water out and start on his shower. He clapped his hands again and the water plug lifted up, and he stood up so that the shower could begin.
As he showered himself, he could hear his father’s yells from all the way down stairs, and he thought again why his beautiful mother had vanished from his sight.
Once Hyukjae found out that his father was at work, he instantly got ready to go outside in the snow again. He shoved on his winter fur coat and his boots and worked his way outside.
Pulling his mittens on and placing his ear muffs over his ears, he jumped into the snow, glad to be away from his house. His house was amazing, and he knew that. But it was always so pressuring to be in there. Who knew you could be pressured in your own house?
He stared at the clouds above him, wondering what kind of life it would be like if he didn’t have so much money, if his parents weren’t so rich, if his mother had never died.
How did she die anyway?
Suddenly, Hyukjae heard a childish laughter from the other side of the snow, and he rolled over to see who it was. He saw a boy about his age, throwing snow balls to someone a bit older than him, maybe his brother. They looked so carefree and so happy that Hyukjae almost longed to be with them.
Hyukjae rolled back, wishing that he had an older brother. He had an older sister, but he rarely ever saw her. He saw her maybe once or twice during the year, for a change of clothes or food if she really wanted some. But the rest of the year she was out partying or staying at a friend’s house.
Hyukjae heard the boy’s giggling laughter once again and it made him mad. He found this snow place first. Why were they here, having more fun than him?
He pushed himself up, and staggered upright. He pointed a finger to the two boys and began to yell, just like his father did when he was mad at Hyukjae.
“Yah! Go away from my-”
But instead, he was hit in the head with a snowball. Surprised, he fell back, black dots dancing in front of him.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” he heard a squeaky voice come from next to him. “Hyung did I hurt him? What should we do?”
“Don’t worry; I’m sure he’s fine. Look he’s breathing. Just stay calm, we didn’t kill him.”
Hyukjae was shaken up with strong hands, and he forced himself up. Blinking, he stared at the two boys in front of him.
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I was aiming for hyung, I’m so sorry-” the smaller boy stammered, trying to get rid of the snow that was all over Hyukjae.
“It’s okay.” Hyukjae tried to give the boy his death glare but it didn’t work. The boy was really quite cute when he looked at him this close. He had red hair that covered half of his large eyes and a strange habit of biting his lips.
He looks kind of cute…
Hyukjae shook his head; he couldn’t believe that he just thought that. He shrugged away from the boy and avoided his eyes.
“I’m fine. I’m fine, thanks.”
Hyukjae took a step back, and then ran off to his house. He looked back when he was half way there and saw the younger boy still standing there. Hyukjae stuck his tongue out, and disappeared in.
“Hyukjae-yah? Where did you go?”
Hyukjae flew up the stairs and rushed inside his room and locked the door. He leaned against the cool glass, breathing heavily. He didn’t even know why, he just wanted to be alone right now.
“Hyukjae-yah?” he heard the maid call out from outside his room.
“Sorry ajumma, I just want to be by myself right now.”
“Arasso Hyukjae. We have cookies down stairs if you’re hungry.”
Hyukjae looked down at his feet, embarrassed as he heard the maids faint footsteps slowly disappear.
“A-ajumma?” he hesitated, before the footsteps came to a real stop.
“Yes? What is it Hyukjae?”
“W-why…why did mother have to...why did she have to die?”
Hyukjae was met with dead silence, and for a few moments he thought that the maid wasn’t there. Still, he waited, staying in the same position that he was in before.
“Hyukjae, she is not gone forever. She is still here.”
“Ah, she is still here in your heart remember? Do not worry. You can see her in your dreams.”
“Oh. Right. Thanks ajumma.”
“You should ask your father about this Hyukjae.”
“Yeah. Okay. Thanks ajumma.”
There was no way he was going to ask his father. No way.
Hyukjae threw himself on the bed, angry and annoyed. The answer hadn’t made him feel any better; in fact it just made it worse. What was this ‘dead people are always in your heart and you can see them in your dreams’ gibberish? Isn’t it obvious, that it’s not the same?
His mind wandered to the boy that he met that day. What was his name? Where did he live? He had never seen him before... maybe he had just moved here.
Hyukjae flopped over to the other side and sighed. Sigh, sigh and sigh. That was all he did. Because really, that was all that Hyukjae could do. Everything he did was controlled by his father, everything he said was operated by his father, everything he wanted to do wasn’t allowed and everything that was set in this house was by his father’s rules.
Why wasn’t he free like everyone else?
“Hyukjae-yah, since you aren’t going to do your school work and you seem to have nothing interesting to do, can you throw the salt out at the entrance for me?”
Hyukjae nodded as the maid asked this, glad that he now had something to do. Grabbing the bag of salt, he stepped outside and started to throw them aimlessly.
He danced around, laughing to himself when he bumped into someone.
“Oh! Um, hi!”
Hyukjae looked up, wondering what kind of cheerful person would come to the famous Doctor Lee’s house at noon.
“Oh my god! Oh oh oh…oh hi.”
It was the boy from the snow a long time ago.
“Hi! I just wanted to say sorry for last time-”
“It’s fine. I’m cool with it.” Hyukjae stepped away from the boy, shuffling his feet, not daring to look up.
The faint smile on the boy’s face faded for a second, but then he grinned happily again.
“My name is Donghae, Lee Donghae! What’s yours?”
“Hyukjae-yah? Who are you talking to?” the maid called out from the house behind us.
Hyukjae face palmed as Donghae laughed and said, “Hyukjae? I like that name! Can I call you Hyukkie? Let’s be friends okay! Yayy~”
Donghae ran around, talking to all the flowers that were lined up in the entrance, and staring wide eyed at the marble statue of Greek Gods Zeus and Hera.
“I love your house!” Donghae squealed, as he spun around happily, landing softly on the grass beneath him, out of breath.
Hyukjae couldn’t help but suppress a small smile as he watched Donghae play with the grass.
He really is cute…
Hyukjae’s father had come home that night after all long week of treating patients, and already Hyukjae was getting scolded for the homework that he didn’t do and going outside when it was getting dark quicker. His father was pacing around the house, his eyebrows scrunched up in concern.
“I don’t understand. This is for your own good! I’ll be back in about two days again and I expect all your homework to be done by then. Otherwise-”
“Father, I have a question.” Hyukjae interrupted.
His father glared but didn’t say anything.
“Well, I was just wondering…” Hyukjae began, using the silence as the opportunity. “I was just wondering, is mother…could mother still be alive…somewhere… I don’t know maybe like-”
His father looked at the maid who was currently wiping the table down. Turning his gaze back to Hyukjae, he sat down on a chair.
“Why are you asking me this?”
“I was just-”
“She died. That’s all you need to know.”
“What, you think I’m lying Hyukjae? I don’t have time for this. She died. Do you know what the word died means? It means that she is not alive. This is what you get for not doing your school work. You need to focus more and study so that you can understand simple things like this. What do you possibly think you are going to do in the future if you continue to be like this?”
Gritting his teeth, Hyukjae blocked out his father’s ranting and mentally shot his father.
Why was his father so annoyingly annoying?
His father sighed, and got up from the chair.
“Go to sleep now Hyukjae.”
Hyukjae got up and slammed the door, knowing full well how much his father hated it when he did that.
That was exactly the reason why he slammed the door.
Hyukjae woke up in the middle of the night, his throat dying of thirst. Licking his lips to wet his mouth at least a little bit, he groaned out of bed and worked his way down stairs, to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
When he was half way down the stairs though, he heard his father’s deep voice and the voice of the maid, whispering to each other.
“I don’t understand why Hyukjae is like this…has he asked anything about his mother to you before?” his father sighed impatiently.
“No…no he didn’t sir.”
“I wonder why he suddenly asked me such a thing…it is best for him not to know that she may be or may not be alive…knowing him, he will definitely try to go look for her…”
“But he wouldn’t know where she is sir.”
“He’ll find out eventually. He’s-”
Hyukjae clenched his fists, anger rising up, filling his body. Not wanting to hear any more of his father’s insults, he burst in, scaring his father and the maid.
“I’m what. What is it father? What am I? A loser, not smart, lame, not good enough? Why do you hate me so much father? What did I ever do to you? Why is it not okay to be a bit different from everyone? Every time I get first place, you never say anything, not a single praise. But when I get second, all you do is yell at me, and tell me that I should have done better, that I didn’t deserve even a second place. Why do you do this to me? Why are you so mean?” Hyukjae took a deep breath, the words spilling out of him like a waterfall. He could see his father’s icy stare, but he continued on. “I think I know why mother left you. Because you’re such a freaking jerk! I bet anything she did you just glared at her like you do with me and never said anything. You don’t deserve someone like her! She’s too good for you-”
“Hyukjae!” he heard the maid cry.
Hyukjae ducked, but not fast enough. The glass vase that his father threw at him didn’t hit him in the face but it left a deep cut in his right arm, deep enough for it to bleed threateningly. Hyukjae clutched his arm, too shocked to say anything.
The vase crashed at the floor, the glass shattering around them.
“How dare you say such things to me Hyukjae.” His father’s voice boomed. “You were too young, you don’t even remember. You never loved her as much as me. You don’t know anything!” He grabbed another item from the wall and threw it at Hyukjae. “You know nothing! You don’t know how much I loved her!”
Hyukjae was hit in the head with whatever his father threw; he was too tired and shocked to even move. He grimaced at the pain and looked down to see what his father threw at him.
It was a picture of his mother, smiling happily at the camera, looking as beautiful as she always did.
And, she was cradling baby Hyukjae in her arms.
“I wish I never met you.” Hyukjae heard himself say, with pure hatred in his voice. “I wish you were never my father. I hate you.”
The maid tried to help Hyukjae stop the bleeding but his father pushed her away, telling her not to bother with Hyukjae. Hyukjae stormed up to his room, angry hot tears making their way down his face.
“I hate you father….I hate you.”
What Hyukjae missed out though, was what his father wanted to say at the end.
‘he’ll find out eventually. He’s Lee Hyukjae. He can do anything.’
Hyukjae didn’t see his father after that at all, and he was perfectly fine with that. The maid had patched up his cut and now it was just a jagged scar, which Hyukjae thought looked quite cool.
Soon, winter break came to an end and school started. Hyukjae trudged along in his boots, wondering when the snow was ever going to melt when he bumped into Donghae on the way. He and Donghae had become quite close during the last few days of winter break.
“Hyukjae! Hi Hyukkie!”
“Hey Donghae.” Hyukjae replied coolly.
“I thought of a new nickname for you! Eunhyuk! Because you like silver! Do you like it?”
Hyukjae thought about it for a moment.
“Sure, you can call me that. That’s a pretty cool nick name actually.”
“You like it? Yay! Eunhyukkie! You go to Princeton Seoul Music School too? Yay! This is awesome; I thought I was going to be the only one!”
Hyukjae smiled and led the way to school with Donghae blabbering on about how his new sofa that he and his brother got a few days before.
Princeton Seoul Music School was a private school for the top musicians, singers and dancers of Seoul. Hyukjae was in the dance course.
“What course are you taking?” Hyukjae asked Donghae as they neared the school.
The school was grand just like Hyukjae’s house. The outside looked like a castle but the inside was more magnificent. The halls lined with trophies of the school and each room had a large window to look at the wonderful view. There was the great concert hall where the choir and soloist performed. There was the band auditorium, with pretty much every instrument you could think of, and the dance room with mirrors all around and music blasting out of someone’s iPod. The school was the only place that Hyukjae felt happy and comfortable, even if there were people that he didn’t like.
There was one boy that Hyukjae especially loathed though.
“I’m taking dance.” Donghae replied cheerfully, “You?”
“Same. 11A or-”
All dance and singing classes are separated by grade and level. It starts with D (the lowest level) and up to A (the highest level). There’s sometimes a special class called S, which is a class for certain people who are better than the level A. They get solo parts and they perform in competitions all over Korea and it is really an honour to be in dance class S.
“11A. I hope we can get into 11S though!”
“Me too. It’s hard to get in from what I heard, but I’m sure we can get in. What’s your first class?”
“Foot work and Motions. You?”
“Rapping. I’ll see you later then.”
Hyukjae walked to his rapping class, half wishing that Donghae was in the same class as him, half glad that he had time to himself to rap.
As he stepped into his nostalgic class, he bumped into someone.
“Well well. Isn’t it the famous little Lee Hyukjae?” a snarky voice came from above him.
Hyukjae could recognize that voice anywhere even if he didn’t want to.
He stood up taller and glared at the younger boy in front of him.
“Hello Soo Yeonki. It’s been what, two and a half weeks? Looks like you got taller.”
“I was always this tall. I bet you missed me Hyukjae.”
“I wouldn’t miss you even if I had to die.”
“GAH I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!!” Hyukjae groaned, resting his head on Donghae’s shoulder. “He’s such a jerk! I hate him, I hate him!”
“What did he do?” Donghae asked. They were sitting at a table during lunch time, and Hyukjae hadn’t even touched his sandwich.
“What did he do? Nothing actually, expect for the fact that he exists!”
Donghae raised his eyebrows.
“Okay he breathes. That’s what pisses me off.” Hyukjae sighed.
“So you want him to die?”
“A slow and painful one to be exact.”
“But why do you hate Yeonki so much? Isn’t he in the singing course?”
“He takes the same rapping class as me, which isn’t exactly part of any course. You can take if you want it; you just get one less class from your actual course. He bullies me like he’s older and of course, he’s taller than me which just makes it worse. And you know what he did in rapping class this morning? So the teacher started telling up to come up with our own raps for a new project and then Yeonki raised his hand and he was all like ‘oh I’m done sir~’ and then so the teacher was like okay, present it to the class and then okay, you know what it’s about? Me! It’s obvious it’s about me and all the students are laughing their heads off but of course the teacher doesn’t notice and-”
“Awww Hyukjae! You got yourself a new boyfriend? How cute.”
Hyukjae immediately pulled himself away from Donghae as he heard Yeonki’s voice from behind him. “What’s his name Hyukjae? Aren’t you going to introduce him to me?”
Hyukjae felt his face get hot as Yeonki started to trash talk Donghae.
“So how old are you Hyukjae’s boyfriend? Are you new here? Oh that’s great. Are you that guy that my friend just talked about? What did he say…oh something like ‘he acts like a five year old.’ Yeah is that you? You must be. I-”
“Stop it.” Hyukjae said darkly.
“What did you say Hyukjae?”
“I said, stop it. Stop making fun of Donghae, stop being such a jerk.”
It felt like the whole cafeteria was watching them. It was all silent, something that absolutely never happened in Princeton Music School.
Yeonki snorted, rolling his eyes. He sighed and put a forced smile on as he turned to face Hyukjae.
“Lee Hyukjae…what did you call me?”
Before Hyukjae could finish his sentence, he could feel Yeonki getting ready to slap him. Bracing himself, he closed his eyes. But he didn’t feel anything.
Slowly opening his eyes, he saw Donghae, sprawled out on the floor, one of his cheeks bright red and bleeding.
“STOP MAKING FUN OF EUNHYUKKIE! STOP MAKING FUN OF HIM!” Donghae cried. He was holding his check, blood tricking through his fingers, and he was close to tears. “STOP IT!”
Yeonki burst out laughing.
“AW! How cute! He calls you Eunhyukkie! Isn’t that just adorable? And he saaaaved you Hyukjae, oh I think I see chemistry here!”
Hyukjae wished the floor of the cafeteria would just open and sallow Yeonki up.
“Anyways, enough with all this saving crap. Donghae, I’m sure you don’t want to be hurt again. Stay there like the good little boy you are.” Yeonki said as he tossed his brunette hair off his eyes. Then, he noticed something.
“Hey Hyukjae, what happened to your wrist?”
Hyukjae rushed to cover his arm with the sleeve of his shirt but it was too late.
“Hyukjae…you don’t possibly get…abused by your parents?” Yeonki was now laughing like a maniac, throwing his head back. “Poor you! Look at that huge scar; did your parents try to kill you or something? Hah!”
Yeonki pushed Hyukjae away and strutted back to his table where his friends were casually waiting for him as if nothing happened.
The lunch bell rang and everyone started to leave for their next classes.
“Donghae, are you okay?” Hyukjae took Donghae’s hand gently and pulled him up to bring him to the nurse.
Hyukjae stiffened at the nickname, but then put Donghae’s arm around his neck.
“No Donghae. You can call me Eunhyukkie. It’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Thank you for standing up for me.”
“That’s what friends are for...it’s okay Hyuk- Eunhyukkie. I don’t like Yeonki anymore.”
“I’m glad you understand. Let’s get you to the nurse, you’re bleeding like crazy.”
Donghae nodded and they went to the nurse’s office in silence. Hyukjae wanted to stay and watch over Donghae but the nurse told him to go to class.
Hyukjae gave his teacher his note for being late and melted into the crowd, trying to be invisible. But it was almost impossible, as he was the lead dancer in the class and the teacher picked on him multiple times to show the class a dance move.
He could hear snickering and whispers from behind his back.
But he couldn’t care less.
Finally he went to his last class of the day, Tempo and Rhythms, which was a super easy class especially if you played as many instruments as Hyukjae. The time seemed to stop at 2:59 though, and he couldn’t wait to go check on Donghae after school.
After what seemed like an eternity, he scrambled out of class, his bag half open and slung over one shoulder. He skidded inside the nurse’s office, and saw Donghae, playing with a toy fish.
Donghae looked up from the toy and beamed happily.
“Are you okay? Does your cheek hurt?”
“No it’s doesn’t Eunhyukkie, not any more. Can we get out of here?”
“Yup you two can go. But Donghae, your jaw might hurt a few times but don’t worry about it okay?” the nurse said as she came in from the door.
“Okay thank you!”
Donghae ran out, happy to be out of the ‘stuffy scary white room’ as he described it. Hyukjae was just happy that he got his Donghae back.
Okay no. We aren’t even dating, and I refuse to be gay.
“Eunhyukkie, what are you thinking about?”
“Hhhmm? Oh nothing.”
“Really? I don’t think sooo~”
Hyukjae smiled, and playfully punched Donghae’s arm.
“I don’t know, what were you thinking about?”
“You!” Donghae exclaimed happily spinning around. “I was thinking about my favourite Eunhyukkie!”
Hyukjae felt his heart drop as he heard Donghae say those words.
He doesn’t like me in that way…
Not that I like him.
“Oh yeah? Well I was thinking about you.” Hyukjae experimented, wondering how Donghae was going to respond to that.
“Really? Yay! Eunhyukkie was thinking about me!” Donghae went back to singing another song, bumping his shoulder against Hyukjae’s and then saying sorry about a thousand times and then being happy again once Hyukjae told him for the millionth time that it didn’t hurt and he was fine.
Donghae is too innocent. He would never like me.
“Bye Eunhyukkie! My hyung is here, so I need to go! I’ll see you tomorrow!”
Hyukjae gave Donghae a weak smile and waved as Donghae skipped away, being the happy virus that he was.
Hyukjae knew he shouldn’t get too attached to Donghae. But it was literally impossible to ignore his little cute lip biting (which sometimes turned extremely sexy at times) and his cute little remarks that really did sound like a five year old.
“Eunhyukkie, you look tired. Are you okay?” Donghae asked as they walked -well Hyukjae walked, Donghae was more dancing- back home together one spring day.
“You just looked tired.”
“Looked? I don’t look tired anymore?”
“I don’t know.” Donghae giggled and started to kick the stones on the concrete.
They walked in silence for a few moments, when suddenly Hyukjae had to ask a question.
“Donghae, why did you get yourself hurt that day when Kyuhyun was-”
Donghae cocked his head to one side, and Hyukjae knew he had to include that in his ‘list of things that make Lee Donghae absolutely adorable’
Not that he had one in his drawer in his desk, hidden safely under all the papers and pens.
“Because I love you Eunhyukkie!” Donghae grinned happily. He ran straight towards Hyukjae, and threw his arms around him, surprising Hyukjae.
“I love you Eunhyukkie! That’s why! Do you love me?”
Yes I do love you. But you don’t love me the same way, do you?
- Current Mood: restless
- Current Music:July- My Soul